I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
