You smell like a Billy Joel song
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
