the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
