Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
