...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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