is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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