Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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