the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
