Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
