i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
