Don't you send me to vm
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
