the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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