And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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