just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
