I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
