She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
