addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
porn star boner night. come get it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
