so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
