Dual....:-)
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just google imaged poop.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
