i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
