I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
where are my eyebrows?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
