Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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