Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
