What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
