in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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