Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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