Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
