Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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