I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
