it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
