who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The Olympian is in my bed
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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