We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
