Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
