Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm passing your future prison.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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