You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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