Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
