He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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