did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
