I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
