Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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