Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm so fucking centered right now
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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