Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
