why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
