I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
