Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
