just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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