The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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