Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
