the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
