Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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