"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
