note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
